ApRiL brought Madness...

April 16, 2010

Why don’t you just
Hold me
Keep me
Don’t hate me
Even if it’s
Not easy
Call me your beauty
OR deem me your beast
It don’t hurt too much,
Not to say the least

I’ll swing through and
We’ll doh-see-doh
And when I leave-
No one will find peace

So don’t follow
    That would leave you hollow
Don’t strain your eyes
To see what I mean
If it’s anything -
        It’s an all-night thing
A two-step, moving through the night sky
Riding on a magic carpet
I smoke rare leaf on this ride
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APRIL 15, 2010
9:44 p.m.

    Thinking of doors. The band. And actual doors - ones that close in your face (Thanks, Dad) and ones that open to opportunity and also…
The ones that open to a big
                Pile
                Of
                SHIT.
(A pessimistic day, indeed).

            -end-



-TUESDAY APRIL 13, 2010
2138 HRS. (9:38 P.M.)

    It is nightfall and the routine of madness has ended. The kids are in bed, finally. Tears were falling from my  blond haired blue eyed daughters eyes…
She, is genuine.
And, she is worried for someone that cares for very deeply..
My children; I see so many things in them and it is  ONLY then when I am able to understand what it means to love, unconditionally.  I know how it feels to create such a powerful, hard-wired-thing.  These little adults - more humane than most humans. The children of this world are where we should be betting EVERYTHING on…
But most will just pass them off as merely ‘only a child.”.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Exhaling smoke as I furiouslY scribble this random pattern of thinking…
I stare above, into the black of the night sky.
I’m glad that there are sTaRs that are visible to my eye tonight. My eyes follow their patterns; their invisible lines that they draw in that vast, outstretched night sky.
    My shadow grows longer as I stand, but I notice

        That it seems to be larger
            Than it should.
    As if
It were almost…
        Growing.
“Really?? Hmm, it seems to me that my ego has grown.”
It exceeds me,  the shadow, that is.
Then, I think to myself that Perhaps -that is not only my shadow.
Maybe it’s the boogeyman that lurks behind me; follows me everywhere. Doesn’t let me sleep. Makes me annoyed -
                     and-
                    Is the very fiber
                        Of my existence.

These beings are around me everywhere. I see them, amongst the mess in my basement; in the toy pile. Over my shoulder. Right in  my face.  Waiting, in the chair; in the corner of m y mind.
    I’m either just beginning to imagine - or maybe I am merely subconsciously {more like unconsciously} following suite with the ’typical stereotype’  of a writer.
  Awake through most of the evening hours,
Drinking or smoking .
Always smoking though, with or without the presence of alcohol.
A cigarette dangling from either my hand or my lip as I scrawl in a notebook or hover over a keyboard, tapping away at the keys. Or bury my face in the pages of a book, or even, sometimes, several books at one time - at times.
Copyright K. Anne Smith