09-04-2010
1:15 a.m.

Early Saturday morning. Myself, and the dog are awake.
We are
the only ones.
Today's word is: survival.
And with that, comes recognizance of things said, and done.
I'm sorry.
I've drug my past into my present, though it was without consciousness. Fuck.
This beautiful, talented, and heavy-hearted soul across from me -
I am sorry that I said some things to him that he did NOT deserve. I love him, and I think (know) he is beautiful!
He doesn’t try as hard as I anticipate. Yet, he does try to deal (with ME)! And that, is not always easy.
 I want nothing more than to be able to be of some sort of help to him. But I don't know if I am a good influence - alot of the time.
I want to take him, and ravage him, but, at times, he doesn't seem to want that. Which is strange. Probably a misconception, but I always thought that men wanted sex every day, maybe a few times a day.
I love him, so so much. But at times, he makes me so fucking MAD!! Insane-Mad, not angry. I love others more than myself at times....

_weird ending_



Copyright K. Anne Smith