Why does everything always got to be so fucked up?

No matter what I do everything fails. Kurt Cobain said it best, I have never failed to fail.  Despair is what I feel, my son, a bitch for a mom, mother of the year.  Thank you Trix for allowing me yet another place to vent.  Life is a roller coaster of emotions, I am emotionless.  I can't take the pressure or the pain, I want to scream out, but no one would hear me, no one would care, for I am a fucked up individual.  You see the fucked up side, I fucked my guitar as you watched, never have I let anyone watch.  Things seem hopeless, never ending, living on pain pills to ease the mind, addicted to Xanax and Klonopin to ease my soul.  I hope you like my after the darkest times.